One of these individuals was a regional director at a popular nationwide seafood chain, for privacy reasons we will call this man Demoralizing Demitri. See Demoralizing Demiti lead his district with an iron hand, zero emotional intelligence, and the interpersonal skills of an outhouse, that is to say that people dreaded being around him and only interacted with him in the most direst of emergencies.
The second of these individuals we will call Debbie Downer. See Debbie was a fellow manager at the same nationwide seafood chain and her style of management could best be describe as, "I will make every person around me feel like garbage, so when I do give them a back handed compliment, they will think I am proud of them, even though I am really insulting them so I feel better about myself." I believe this is called passive aggressive personality disorder in most circles. In fact, when Ms Downer spoke, the ring of her voice was tantamount to scrubbing your ears with sand paper.
It was through these experiences and others that I learned to deal effectively with negative and toxic coworkers. Here are a few of the mechanisms I used.
First, I stopped over analyzing their behavior. It took time, but I had to come to an understanding that these two were miserable as a choice and I wasn't going to allow that choice to dictate my days. I learned to the understanding that trying to interpret why Demoralizing Demitri always made a point to discourage accomplishments was simply a waste of energy. I began to see that Demitri was the type of person that was impossible to impress or to please.
Second, I had to stop giving them the ability to ruin my day. Eleanor Roosevelt once said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." The truth behind this statement is astoundingly real. When I first began working with Debbie Downer, her horrible mood would dictate mine. Not only would I find myself caught up in the gossip she was spewing, but I would struggle to stay upbeat and energetic as she paraded around the restaurant condemning the hard work of others as inferior and ensuring they understood that they were menial expendable employees. One day I decided I no longer cared about her feedback. I would go out of my way to help train or encourage the employees she was insulting. I would reward hard work with free dinners and other perks. Over a time I stopped giving her the power to affect my employees and by proxy, me.Thirdly, I came to work with a smile and a "hello" for each one of my employees. This really bothered both of these toxic individuals as they enjoyed making people unhappy. They liked to make people believe they could be fired at any moment and through fear and aversion they forced people to work. By starting every day with a smile and hello to each one of my employees, they worked for me because they enjoyed it, not because they feared losing their livelihood. I offered them respect, treated them with understanding and in return, my days got easier.
Finally, I took the Garbage truck pledge. David Pollay in "The Law of the Garbage Truck" said it was his belief that, "Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you. So when someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally, just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Believe me you'll be happier"
Comments
Post a Comment